Saturday, September 24, 2005

asexual rant

Ok so first of all, Winston rocks. (start after quote) Not only do we share a brain half the time, he has the courage to say stuff I dont.
So ya, I've been getting accused of being gay lately. Not because I like men, but because I'm just sick of women. And while I'm QUITE sure I wont be the first or last million to complain about the opposite gender on the internet, I'm doing it anyway.

I have had many women friends over the years, and always get complaints about guys using them for sex and not calling. (Most of the time the women are just projecting those intentions on a guy they've known for <1 hour.) What is the reason for this? If they bother to state it, its because men are evil creatures from a parallel dimension. Of course it could have NOTHING to do with the fact that women are royal pains in the ass.

There is an amazing inverse relationship between looks and personality. Its almost not their fault, women who are beautiful are rediculously spoiled all their lives. (men too, but to a lesser extent, since women detect the beauty of other women far more than men do men) Ugly people of both genders need to develop wonderful personalities lest they have no friends.

Modern women are also about the most selfish thing I concieveable. I have a good friend that calls herself a 'traditional girl' which means to her that a man should pay for and do everything, and work his ass off to be rewarded with her time. You know what? men arent stupid. The more women assume they are the more they complain about them because they keep getting outsmarted. Its thinking like hers that leads to the natural (tho SOOO politically incorrect) conclusion that you should put out at the end of the nite-- because HELLO, THERES TWO PEOPLE IN THE RELATIONSHIP, and most people arent into being slaves.

Another thing, men arent women. Seemingly obvious, its not. Guys are NOT detail oriented, you buy a new dress and we cant tell, even worse if you get jewlry, it'll take years. Ever see on tv where the guy says 'I like that new necklace of yours.' and she replies 'I've had this for years.'? It's new to him. You guys wearing womens dickies and frilly shirts to show your feminine side are truly to be pitied, not because youre 'gay' but because youve been taught to develop your feminine side because everything around you tells you the masculine is bad.

Women and men also approach human relationships differently. Women will wonder how men can be friends with that slob hes been friends with since high school. It's the same reason he's still with you. Guys take relationships as decisions. They weigh their options, make a decision, and unless something drastic changes (slow constant changes dont count, those are details) he will stay there.

Women on the other hand need constant reasurement. Everything is wonderful in the relationship until youre sitting on the couch one day and she says 'we need to talk.' It's almost more of a cliche than 'lets just be friends' but women do it anyway.
And when you talk, it turns out that shes upset because two weeks ago she told you there was a tv show she wanted to watch tonite and she sat down with you and you didnt turn it on, in a memory test you didnt know you were participating in.
Sounds rediculous I know, (and it is fictional) but the point is 90% of the complaints fall into two categories:
1. The above test of psychic powers. Women for all their lauded skill in conversation, will sit there icy quiet while we watch tv and expect us to pick up on their vibe. Guess what, we're watching tv. Two years later when she DOES say something, its far too late because she wants to punish him for her two years of heartache, which is a natural human reaction except for the fact she brought it on herself. Trust me, we guys will tell you when the football game is on.
2. 'You dont pay enough attention to me.' This is oh-so-fun. Often this isnt even actions, its words. Guys will work their ass off all their lives for a woman. And one day she will say this to him. Why? Because 90% of the stuff you DO doesnt matter. Its far more what you say. But guys you have to meter it! Because it also has to be new and different all the time. If you tell her you love her every morning as you leave for work, she will ask you someday how come you never tell her shes pretty. And if its actually about doing something, then amazingly going to work everyday to a job you hate, buying her whatever home furnishings or clothes she wants, taking her out to dinner, etc, magically doesnt count. Why? Who knows, I'm not a woman.

This is also a good portion of the reason the assholes get the women. See they generally have nothing, so they do little and when they do do something it stands out, and theyre mean to everyone (including her) so when they ARE nice it once again stands out. I guess its all about expectations.

Lastly, women of this area. I generally think of myself as quick witted, but can never really think of the things I want to say when it counts. The bet example is with women of this area. (Orange County, Ca, as seen on tv) Within 5 minutes of meeting, you will hear 'what do you do?', 'where do you live', 'what kind of car do you have', or similar. Most guys just drop these answers to preempt them if they have anything worthy to say. I can never really think of good answers to these, such as 'I'm a displaced aligator wrestler from New Orleans.' when I need them. But its usually because I'm instantly annoyed.

In summation, if you girls wonder where the 'nice guys' are, its as I've always said. Young girls like assholes, and older women like nice guys. So young nice guys become old jaded assholes. But it's ok, I like being an asshole.

Zain has been using me as Cerano DeBergerac (I have NO IDEA how to spell French names, sound it out.) to some girl he found on facebook. I bet after this I loose a customer ^^ I'm actually pretty good at this stuff, but only as a 3rd party.

Ok, I should probably pay attention to my boring Saturday morning Computer Hardware class, one hour down!

Links of the day!

As I said, I'm not at home where the links are, heres one Mina sent me last nite tho. (and I might edit this later for more.)
Oregon Trail go back in time to Jr High with this old school apple emulator, theres a ton more games there too.

Sunday, September 04, 2005

I tried to pick up Jesus in a movie theatre

ya ya its been ages. Not much going on in my life. Basically just studying computers and Japanese and hangin out a bit. Got my A+ in the process, now on to the Security+.

But yesterday I had a religious experience. Saw a good wholesome movie about waiting till youre married for sex (40yr old Virgin) with Jeannine, then afterwards waited while she powdered her nose or whatever women do in the bathroom (since my friend Adam believes they dont poop) and I saw it...

In one of those tomogochi (capsule toys for the westerners) thingies, they had really crappy cheezy light-up jewlry. But on the outside box..... there it was


I had to have it, and spent $6 (thats 6 toys, such a ripoff) trying to get it, even prommised never to take it off again, but as I learned long ago they never put the toys in the picture IN the damned capsules. (Isn't that false advertising?) So the best I could do is take a pic and make it my cell phone background. (Tried to blog this with my cell last nite but cingular email fails).

Tonite is just tv nite, adult swim gets a lot of crap but I love em. This holiday weekend sucks.

My friend in Japanese class also hunted down this,
ecchi bevis

Its a pic from the Genki 2 book (without the words) in a chapter that focuses on '___ did ___ to ____'. For those of us who wondered whatever happened to Bevis, hes now in Japan molesting innocent looking Japanese guys.


My friend John has a good friend Chef (nickname) that pointed out that in those Sketchers comercials, they eat the shoe and then it slides down their leg and onto their foot. So then the shoes are coming out their......

then I saw another comericial tonight and I could never figure out just what it was about it. Tonight I did.

<@eDRoaCH> apparently the army is desperately seeking people who know how to get to safe mode
<+Sky> safe mode?
<@eDRoaCH> youd have to see the comercial
<@eDRoaCH> cops driving around, seemingly asking for leads on a suspect
<@eDRoaCH> then they find him in a group of kids on the street and turn on their lights
<@eDRoaCH> he comes over and the 2nd cop says 'it crashed again'
<@eDRoaCH> he reaches over and says 'reboot in safe mode with f8'
<@eDRoaCH> next shot hes some army radar specialist
<@eDRoaCH> i think the radar only works in safe mode
<+Sky> hahahah sux
<@eDRoaCH> AEGIS- the worlds most advanced weapons syst.. er wait how do i get to safe mode again?

Links of the day!

wow, been ages, theyre all getting old
Famous People Who Were Bedwetters I think theyre cheating on FDR, he had pollio for god sakes.
Galvinize This game rocks litterally, Chemical Brothers game for their new single.
Spore ooooh, me like.